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A friend for life

21st May 2017

A friend for life

When I was writing both The Mixed Up Summer and The Awkward Autumn of Lily McLean I thought a lot about the importance of friendship and about the qualities which are important in a good friend. For Lily, loyalty is crucial. When her best friend Rowan fails to pick her for the hockey team she feels betrayed. As far as Lily’s concerned, Rowan ‘broke the friendship code’. But Rowan has good reasons for her actions, and doesn’t feel she has let Lily down. For Rowan, being able to tell the truth, even when it’s hard, is part of being a good friend.Last October I wrote a blog for GirlsHeartBooks about a friendship which has lasted for most of my life.

I met Ali when I was 9 and just started at a new school, my third primary school in three years. I still remember how my feet dragged as I trailed behind my mum and two younger sisters on that first day. I had been miserable at my first two schools and was dreading starting all over again. I thought that if only I was one of the popular kids I’d be happy, but I was introverted and shy and instant popularity seemed as likely as snow in July.

For the first few weeks I really struggled to fit in. But then one Saturday morning, I dropped my pocket money on the pavement when I was on my way to the corner shop. A girl with short dark hair and a friendly smile came along, noticed I was upset, and helped me look for my lost coin.

Meeting Ali made all the difference in the world.  We didn’t have everything in common. She didn’t enjoy reading as much as I did, but she didn’t seem to mind that I always had my nose in a book.  She introduced me to Katie, Mandy and Fiona and for the first time in my life I had a group of lovely, supportive friends. And they liked coming round to play at mine, despite the fact that my room was a chaotic mess, shared with my sisters and bursting at the seams.  Ali had an immaculately tidy bedroom. Her favourite toys were her collection of Action Man figures, inherited from her older brothers.

Even though we went to different secondary schools, Ali and I used to meet on the train home and plan our weekends. We shared adventures at Guide camp, Friday night art classes, sleepovers and parties. She was talented at art. I wanted to be a writer. We were going to set the creative world alight.  And although we saw less of each other when she went off to Glasgow Art School and I went to university, we never lost touch.

We are still close friends more than 40 years later, and have supported each other through good times and bad. I know I can call her any time, as she can call on me.  I’m sure being the popular kid is lovely, but the truth is, one friend is all it takes. It makes all the difference in the world.

If you feel your friendships aren’t making you happy, the website Kidscape has some really good advice for young people on how you can tell a good friend from a bad one.